By Rookie the Raccoon | Outfield Outlaws Insider | August 2025
Well, well, well...
If it isn't the bearded beast of the Inland Empire himself.
Let me introduce you to the walking thunderclap that is Bjorn the Basher, mascot of the Riverside Ravagers, West Coast Class B’s most feared, most fur-covered, axe-swingin’ baseball club.
And yes, I said axe. Not bat. Although Bjorn doesn’t seem to know the difference.
⚾ Born in a Dust Storm. Raised by Noise Complaints.
Bjorn’s official birth record reads:
"July 4, 1883 — Riverside, California — Dust storm active."
Unofficially? Local legend says he was carved out of redwood, struck by lightning, and roared to life by a chorus of thunder, chili dogs, and pure rage. He grew up swinging irrigation pipe at tumbleweeds and hitting rocks into the next county.
His signature weapon: an axe called Splitter, forged from salvaged train parts and sharpened on canyon walls. He's been using it as a bat ever since. The league asked him to stop. He growled. They stopped asking.
🧠 Rookie’s Official Scouting Report:
Strengths:
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Swings like every pitch insulted his ancestors.
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Beard alone adds 15 points to intimidation stat.
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Once tagged out a baserunner with eye contact.
Weaknesses:
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Can’t bunt. Refuses to try.
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Helmet doesn’t fit over horns.
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Eats all the snacks by the 4th inning.
⚔️ Enemies & Escapes
Bjorn’s got beef with Donk Diesel of the Swamp Donkeys (they’re in a constant homerun-distance feud), and Tommy Tombstone of the Reapers (they argued over dugout real estate... with fists). He’s also technically banned from 3 leagues, 1 hardware store, and a taco stand in East Riverside.
🧢 Now Available in Shirt Form!
You can now get Bjorn the Basher gear in youth and adult sizes — featuring his war face, wild swing, and that glorious old-school “Riverside Ravagers” logo. It's the kind of shirt that smells like sawdust and fear (figuratively).
👉 Click here to check it out in the store.
🦝 Final Thoughts from Rookie
I’ve seen a lot of mascots in my time. Some dance. Some tumble. Some wave flags.
Bjorn?
He arrives, he roars, and he wrecks baseballs.
And honestly? I'm just glad he's on our side.
Catch you next week in Rookie’s Corner. I’ll be hiding behind the dugout until Bjorn finishes his postgame axe sharpening.
— Rookie the Raccoon
Mascot. Scout. Snack thief.
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